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新GRE高分写作亮点点评,希望可以给大家一些写作思考。
"Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, they in fact, prevent people from developingsintostruly strong and independent individuals."
Do modern luxuries serve to undermine our true strength and independence as individuals? The speaker believes so, and I tend to agree. Consider the automobile, for example. Most people consider the automobile a necessity rather than a luxury; yet it is for this very reason that the automobile so aptly supports the speaker‘s point. To the extent that we depend on cars as crutches, they prevent us from becoming truly independent and strong in character as individuals.
可借鉴之处:开头启用了一个非常醒目的问句,这是最能吸引批卷者视线也是高分作文的表现!
Consider first the effect of the automobile on our independence as individuals. In some respects the automobile serves to enhance such independence. For example, cars make it possible for people in isolated and depressed areas without public transportation to become more independent by pursuing gainful employment outside their communities. And teenagers discover that owning a car, or even borrowing one on occasion, affords them a needed sense of independence from their parents.
此段主要是为下一段的驳论作铺垫。
精华:Consider first...
in some respects...=in some cases, to some exte...