对于很多留学生尔雅,申请文书是很难写的,那么今天就让我们和出国留学网的小编一起来看看被14所高校全录取的同学在文书里写了什么?
被自己申请的学校全数录取是种什么体验?
Soa Andrian在申请学校时,选择申请了14所大学。刚开始,她的主文书是围绕一次暑期课程中的公开演讲展开,主旨内容平谈无奇——如何克服了害羞内敛的性格最终敢在众人面前勉强展现自己。按理讲,这样的内容招生官早就见怪不怪,更何况申请者中精英云集,这样为了迎合招生官的喜好写出的文书根本不是明智之举。
最终,她推翻了原文书,将自己不幸的童年经历写进了文书当中,令人感到惊喜的是,这篇文书打动了包括哈佛大学在内的14所美国一流院校招生官。
除了哈佛大学之外,她还获得了布朗大学、芝加哥大学、哥伦比亚大学、佛罗里达大学、约翰霍普金斯大学、迈阿密大学、麻省理工学院、西北大学、宾夕法尼亚大学、莱斯大学、斯坦福大学和华盛顿大学在内的Offer。
看看这闪亮亮的录取结果,是不是羡慕嫉妒恨……
以下是她的文书原文:
Four boys stood above me on a pile of garbage. Their words, "Bota, bota, matava" — "chubby", "fatty" suffocated me:
A familiar sensation of frustration and hurt gripped me. Looking for defense I only saw a cinderblock at my feet, impossible for my eight year old body to heave, so, I screamed in English:
"You are just jealous that you are poor and I am American!"
As the words flew out of my mouth, I knew I was wrong — there was no sense of triumphant satisfaction. I abruptly turned and ran into the refuge of my aunt's home.
Upon finishing a tearful narrative to my aunt and father, I preferred the comfort of the former's arms. I avoided my father's disappointment: I knew as well as he did, that I was not the victim.
Later, my hysteria subdued and guilt temporarily forgotten, I ventured outside to explore the crevices of Antananarivo. The boys were still playing atop the rubbish, then seeing me, scrambled off their mountain and ran in the opposite direction.
It's okay, I thought, I wouldn't be a fan of me either.
As I began walking up the street, I heard shouts:
"Wait, wait!"
The boys caught up to me and proudly waved hundred ariary bills in my face. In their broken English, they said in earnest and without malice,
"Look! We are not poor! We have money! We are Amreekan too!"
I agreed they were right and smiled sadly: one US dollar was the equivalent to seven thousand Malagasy ariary.
I was made sharply aware of what separated me from these children: oceans, experience, money. Politics, ignorance, the apathy of millions. Ironically, it was also the first time I belonged to my "motherland". I could share in the simple joy of relishing what "is", be proud of the sense of resourcefulness engendered by scarcity.
This memory has woven itself into my philosophy and my dreams. The very personal knowledge that millions live in a way such that electric toothbrushes are an unfathomable luxury (my cousin, Aina), has given me the following personal rules:
Education is an opportunity, not a burden;
You always have enough to share.
While I may not be certain of my future, I know for certain that I want to serve. I realize that service is as important an aspect of education as is academic work. I know this passion will follow me throughout my life and manifest itself in my actions at Harvard. This memory is a mandate to serve indiscriminately and without prejudice towards those I work with. I am all the more willing to cooperate to bring improvement to the community within the College and beyond the campus. I can bring innovation in problem solving born out of the deep desire to help others. I work for these boys, for all the proud Malagasy (and even those who are not proud to be Malagasy), and the children who cherish "what is" instead of mourning "what could be".
这就是斩获14所牛校的文书,并没有很华丽、很复杂、很高深对不对,可就是很打动人心。所以这样的文书,对于将申请18fall的小盆友来讲,不失为一种写作指导。
最后,给大家提供一些文书方面的写作指导:
1、整理所有要申请的大学,列出每所大学的申请文题目要求,标注出相似性。不要担心现在就要完成所有的写作,一篇申请文可以变化成多个版本,可以运用到很多地方,还需要一些过程。最重要的是潜意识地理解问题,这样就可以一直头脑风暴。
2、研究和理解写作的主题——你自己,才能思考如何写作。如果你仅仅是坐下来写,没有对主题进行深思熟虑,那么你很有可能遇到写作障碍,文思枯竭。你也许认为你很了解你自己,但是为了最大程度地了解自己,你需要反思,并且把它写出来。
3、自我评估。你看到多少个版本,是否有什么特别的主题?确定你的兴趣,才能以及动机,需要一定的时间,不一定要一次完成。例如:你有想帮助需要帮助的人的意愿吗?有投身于公共服务的渴望吗?有与生俱来的经商才能吗?
4、选择一篇申请文写作。基于现有的素材,构建文章的中心思想,找到相应的支持论点,然后以列提纲的形式把这些内容表达出来。
5、在某个时间限制内完成申请文的初稿。要接受初稿是不可能完美的事实,这个阶段最重要的是要把你的想法转移到纸上,之后再进行提炼和修改。申请文一般需要经过一次或两次修改才能得到最终稿。如果你想要写出优秀的申请文,这个过程是需要时间的。此外,往往失败的申请文中也包含很多有价值的想法。因此,修改申请文非常重要。
6、完成初稿,搁置几天。远离申请文书一段时间会给你带来一定的客观性。如果需要的话,你可以开始另外一篇申请文,经历相同的过程。
7、寻找你尊重其观点的人,让他们阅读你的申请文,并且给出反馈意见。问他们一些问题,例如:申请文的亮点是什么?你最喜欢哪部分?你要修改什么?你记得哪些词和短语?你还想多了解哪方面?这篇文章展现了我是一个什么样的人?我想要表达的主旨是什么?
8 、大声地阅读申请文,你会惊奇的发现你的耳朵可以识别错误的语法,拙劣的表达及其他。
9、着重申请文的开头和结尾。开头需要抓住读者的兴趣。几种开头的方式:以有趣或是不寻常的事实或细节开头;以奇闻轶事或故事开头;使用有意思的引用;评价有报道价值的或众所周知的事件。几种结尾的方式:总结所阐述的观点;总结然后推断未来;总结申请文中一些潜在的蕴意。
10、改写?为什么?相对于初稿来说,难忘的写作来自于改写。修改必然会提高写作的质量。
11、校正申请文,至少几遍。检查语法,标点,拼写以及其他机器错误。一个屡试不爽的方法是从后往前读。
推荐阅读: