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英语幽默笑话5分钟

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  英语幽默笑话5分钟

  1.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'

  这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话,千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”

  2.Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?

  Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.

  Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?

  Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.

  妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红?

  弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架?

  妈妈:你做的对,谁和谁在打架。

  弗雷迪:我和杰克·史密斯。

  3.A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.

  After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace. 'I'd rather not,', the clergyman said, ' I don't want Him to know I'm here.'

  一位著名牧师和他教区的几位老人出席城外会议直到天黑才开完会,他们打算在回家前吃点东西。但很不巧只有一家名声不好的下等酒吧烤菜馆开着门。

  饭后,一位老人要牧师祈祷。“我想我是免了,”牧师说。“我不想让主知道我在这里。”

  4.Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?

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