今天为大家分享成功获得伯明翰大学offer的三份个人陈述，分别是哲学、历史学、环境与可持续发展三个专业，讲故事、谈书籍、用比喻，五星的范文都有这些写作亮点。留学文书3篇个人陈述范文分享，下面文章由出国留学网小编所整理，希望能帮助到您。
讲故事、谈书籍、用比喻，个人陈述绝对是你尽情展示自己最好的地方，当然你得把自己“装扮”成招生官想看到的样子，这里分享成功获得伯明翰大学的3篇文书范文，一起来看看吧。
范文一：
专业：哲学
Offer：伯明翰大学 伦敦大学国王学院 约克大学 诺丁汉大学
评分：五星
“Thefirst and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind is curiosity”. I believe that when the mind is allowed to think outside thepre-defined constraints of society, the different directions in which it cantravel are infinite.
Philosophyfor me is the basis on which our lives are based and after reading Aristotle’s Ethics, it is fascinating to find that a lot of the beliefs I holdare so similar to those held by someone who lived over two thousand years ago.My main inspiration for taking Philosophy is Socrates and his unapologeticmoral compass. Even when confronted with his own mortality, he refuses to takethe easy option that would compromise what he believes in, for me Socratesincorporates everything I feel a good person should be. I am most interested inlearning about Ancient Greek philosophy because I feel that in this day andage, the majority of people have lost sight of the basic principles of moralsand ethics written by the likes of Plato and Aristotle all those years ago. Ialso believe like Descartes that I must forget everything I think I know aboutlife and start from the beginning and the next step for me is university.
I have particularly enjoyed studying Dr Carol Dweck’stheories of Intelligence. I related to this study because I feel that it summedup my years at school almost perfectly. For most of my childhood up until theend of my teenage years my view on intelligence was, as Dr Dweck theorizes, the“Entity theory of intelligence”.Threatened by failure I have shied away from academic study, because I feltthat failure indicated a lack of intelligence and because of this view I nevercommitted myself to my studies. My views on this have radically changed overthe last 7 years and I now believe that intelligence is interchangeable, thatif curiosity is ignited in the right way, it can be enhanced with the onlylimitation being yourself.
I amcurrently a student of Psychology and Politics which I am really enjoying. Itis exciting to be back in a learning environment and I feel that even though Ihave done a lot of reading at home, nothing compares to being able to debate apoint and question reasoning face to face. I have always been an enthusiasticreader but my thirst for knowledge and understanding didn’t really explode until I was 18. The advancement in availablematerial through the internet has helped me in my quest to learn and understandanything and everything. I have read a huge amount of material on many varyingsubjects from the philosophy of war and pacifism to the psychology behindserial killers and the study of love.
Myquestions are questions not only about the world around me but questions aboutmyself as a human being, is my moral compass true and just? Or does an era aperson lives in determine what they perceive to be right and wrong and why? Forme this is a journey of self-discovery, analysing myself, what I am and how Ihave come to be the way I am is just as important to me as understanding theworld around me.
I believe that stimulating the body is just as important as stimulating the mindso next year I will be taking part in the Virgin London Marathon on behalf ofthe World Wide Fund for Nature. I am also fairly well travelled and lived inAustralia for 2 years, I also did charity work in Bolivia and have visitedPeru, Thailand and Laos amongst others. Leonardo Da Vinci was once asked whatthe key to his genius was; his reply was simple “SapereVedere” which translates as ‘Knowinghow to see’. For me understanding the mind andcombining this with the basic principles of what it is to be aware, to behuman, our interactions and what we think to be right and wrong is so important.
点评：
1. 首句为引用，引用需谨慎，要能帮助说明问题;
2. 谈《亚里士多德伦理学》、古希腊哲学对自己的影响，与哲学产生联系，具体且具说服力
3. 核心词“curiosity”，全文都围绕这一主题词展开;
4. 谈学习内容，显示对哲学的热爱和较全面的学识素养;
5. 最后一段话谈身体与大脑的关系，自然引到课外活动和兴趣爱好上来。
6. 建议多谈实例，少概括和总结。
范文二：
专业：历史学
Offer：英国伦敦大学学院 卡迪夫大学 伯明翰大学
评分：五星
Mydecision to study History was never a difficult one. Having always beencaptivated by the past and its relationship to the present, study at AdvancedLevel has served only to strengthen my interest. Last year I especially enjoyedreading Gash's biography of Robert Peel. In comparing his approach to historywith that of other historians, I found myself profoundly interested in Gash'sconviction that Peel was an individual who shaped not only his time, but therest of the century. Seeking to read more widely than the syllabus allowed,Christopher Hill's 'God's Englishman' provided me with a historical perspectivewhich, although very different, appealed to me perhaps as much as Gash's.Indeed, the comparison between interpretations is one of the most excitingparts of the study of history; but far from being persuaded by a singleperspective, I strive to understand and appreciate the differences. Also ofparticular appeal to me was reading Hague's biography of Pitt the Younger.Although not a professional historian, Hague's expertise in today's politicsand the politics of previous centuries helped me to bridge the gap between thetwo.
The world of ideas also fascinates me, which began with my reading aboutMarxism after studying Russian history. With the help of my school's"Intellectual Development Extending Able Students" program I expandedmy interest in philosophy, which was most helpful in comparing Gash and Hill'srespective views of history. Through the program I took specific interest in Nietzsche,whose appeal to me is owed partly to the emphasis he places uponinterpretation, and partly to the satisfaction I found in finishing"Beyond Good and Evil" with more questions posed than answered!
Similarlymy Advanced Level studies have also helped stimulate my historical interest.Law has brought me closer to politics and current affairs, and there were timeswhen studying factory legislation of the nineteenth century obscured thedivisions between History and Law. Post-graduation, I aspire to train as a legalprofessional, and hope to take with me a better understanding of legal history.Moreover, my interest in Geography has always leant toward the socio-political/economic aspects of the subject, which are closely linked to the study ofhistory. Learning German and spending time in Germany has brought not just alife skill, but also a better understanding of German culture.
Much more than alife enhancing and simple pleasure, it became of great use in my study ofnineteenth century German history and in appreciating Marx, Nietzsche and evenLuther to a greater extent. Although this historical awareness may beconsidered narrow, one of my main motivations for studying history at degreelevel is to broaden my horizons. This will certainly include extending my,already well cemented, love of the discipline.
Believing the old adage about a healthy mind in a healthy body, I have long been a memberof a lifesaving club. This has allowed me to qualify as a pool lifeguard thusimproving my medical awareness and sense of responsibility. Above all, the rolehas helped my confidence to respond in an emergency which, as a practicalperson, I would wish always to be able to do. I strive to complete all tasks toa high standard and with great enthusiasm and have developed a fiercedetermination to achieve.
Additionally, regularly competing as a lead speakerin my School's Debating Society is not only greatly enjoyable, but has alsohelped to stimulate my competitive nature. In order to unwind, I often writecreatively; which is frequently not just a matter of pen and paper, but onewhich involves guitar and piano (both of which I have some fluency in). Ifsuccessful in my application I will capitalise on the opportunity to learn fromleading practitioners in their fields. Furthermore, I will offer the utmost ofmy abilities in both the curricular and extra-curricular aspects of universitylife.
点评：
1. 申请者以“阅读”为主题，谈了《罗伯特皮尔传》等多本书籍，且都有自身思考，同时展示了自己的哲学素养;
2. 第一段内容过多，应该有自然分段，关于在学校的活动项目可以组织成新的一段;
3. 介绍多种与历史相关学科的学习，比如法律、地理，展示了申请者学习热情和潜能;
4. 最后提到兴趣爱好，有具体的例子，展示了多种素质。
范文三：
专业：环境和可持续发展
Offer：东英吉利亚大学兰卡斯特大学 伯明翰大学 圣安德鲁斯大学
星级：五星
Mankindis rocketing towards an unrecognisable existence. Bird song resonates withexplosive drilling; monoculture has usurped diversity; indigenous knowledge isdrowning in concrete. These are the ever increasing signs that humanresponsibility has leapt from the wheel, and left destruction on cruisecontrol.
The dynamic relationship between humans and the Earth has always captivated me. Ican recall the first time I heard the words ‘climatechange,’ ‘consumerism,’ and ‘overpopulation’; more importantly, Iremember the lump in my throat and the worry that lined my face like anOrdnance Survey map. I chose A level Environmental Studies to give substance tothe issues that are continually significant to me. Discovering the pollutionpandemic, alternative energy, protocols of Montreal, Kyoto and more has fuelledme with a drive to make sustainable living not only more accessible, butglobally more accepted.
Further study of a related degree is the only wayforward for me. A desire to complement the broad spectrum of EnvironmentalStudies naturally led me to the fascinating intricacy of Biology. Here myscientific skills have been honed by controlled experiments, leading tostatistical analysis and debating ethical issues. Holistically, EnglishLiterature was an obvious choice; the need for imaginative communicators isvital to catalyse understanding and unity. Extensive essay writing combinedwith an exploration of views and purpose has shaped me into an open minded,creative, and engaging writer.
After a levels, I am deferring my university entry due to a placement I have securedin Ecuador. For three months, I will join a small, voluntary team in the Andeanrainforest. This is a grass roots project; the core of the work involvingrestructuring the community’s income from timberlogging to eco tourism and organic farming, whilst providing environmentaleducation in a local school. This experience will give me a unique opportunityto apply my studies to a real life situation and, vitally, help sew the seed ofenvironmental conservation to the tourists and indigenous community. I haveraised my project fund through part time jobs in a local café and bar. Balancing this with my other endeavours such as The Dukeof Edinburgh Award, cooking, and salsa dancing has been challenging, but I havemaintained my dedication to all with zeal. The determination it has taken toplan this trip has ignited a work ethic that will help me throughout thechallenges of university.
Forthe future, my vision is to use my degree to communicate the urgency to actupon what we are continually learning about the Earth, before the ramificationsof our actions become catastrophic. I understand that cultures have a right todevelop to gain equal standards of sanitation and economic stability;volunteering in the Salvation Army soup kitchens has shown me people who aredesperately suffering. Yet it is imperative global standards of living areprogressed in a way that promotes harmony throughout the environmental andsocial realms, without compromising future needs.
Retreating glaciers, drought,foreign disease: far too many tragedies prove we have a debt to pay to ourincredible planet, a duty to evolve society around sustainable ways of life.The thought of studying issues of such overwhelming importance fills me withawe. I cannot wait to be in a community where my enthusiasm is shared byexperts who have the knowledge, resources and experience to help me flourish.
It was during an English lesson that I stumbled upon this unforgettable omen: “The sedge is wither’d from the lake, and nobirds sing.” These poignant words, by the poet Keats,were even credited in Rachel Carson’s revolutionary ‘Silent Spring’. However, I’m glad to say: Mr. Keats, I disagree. Humanity has not yet renderedyour prophecy true. Through university, I hope to take my first steps to helpsteer the world from the clutches of devastation, before it is too late.
点评：
1. 第一段用了形象的比喻，阐述申请者对环境的深刻认识，同时显示不错的英文功底;
2. 申请者在全文中用了不少比喻，使文章生动且与众不同;
3. 申请者谈了关于生物、科学实验技能、英国文学的学习，展示了多样的知识架构;
4. 讲了自己参加与环境相关的志愿实践推迟入学的小故事，选择非常好;
5. 为了平衡内容，谈了奖学金、烹饪和跳舞，然而这一段描述过于刻意，“ Balancing this with my other endeavours such as……”不应该在文中明确表示出来。
6. 最后，首尾呼应，展示了一种积极乐观和自信的面貌。
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